Letter to myself (Happy 18th Birthday)

2 Oct

Dear 18-year-old me,

Happy birthday to the both of us! We are finally legal and older, finally the day that we have been waiting for has come. By this time you are now in college, taking the diplomacy course in Ateneo, our dreams finally cam true. The road to where you are may not be easy but I know for a fact that it was all worth it, I am so proud of you for what you have accomplished in life right now. I hope that your present is treating you well, two years in college can really change you. Do you still remember the crazy bucket list that we both made when we were younger, the one that we should fulfill by the age of 18? Well, if you’ve forgotten so far, here it is:

My bucket-list, to be fulfilled at the age of 18:

1.)  Get into Ateneo and study there.

2.) Be a Dean’s Lister

3.) Win a competition

4.) Get a real boyfriend

5.) Travel outside the Philippines

6.) Meet someone that you don’t regret meeting

7.) Buy something expensive for yourself

8.) Have a grand debut party

9.) Get your first taste of something

10.) Do something different

At this day and age that we are right now, I hope that the past years that we’ve gone through changed us for the better. We are no longer a girl, we are now a woman and a very brilliant one. Also, I want you to remember that no matter what happens to our life right now or no matter what changes we’ve gone through, know that I will always accept you and remember that every change that we’ve gone through will lead to us becoming the better versions of ourselves in the future. I love you 18-year-old me, may you stay awesome and never forget who you are.

P.S. I can’t wait to see you representing our motherland during World Forums or World Congress and show the world how we can make a change, you’ll become an awesome Ambassador in the near future and I can’t wait for that.

Yours truly,

10-year old me.

Advertisements
Image

Basically Me

2 May

Basically Me

This is who I believe I am

Odd Because It Was Only You

20 Mar

My eyes are burning due to these neon and flashing lights as different faces flash before me, flashing smiles and shaking my numb hands, it’s odd that it was only your face that I seem to have seen very clearly.

My ears felt like they were going to bleed due to the sounds of the stereo, I’ve tried my best to keep my hearing available as I introduced myself to the strangers in front of me but it was only your voice that I’ve heard among all the people I’ve introduced to.

My heart and my body felt like they were being jack hammered due to the vibration of the stereo and the dance floor, but when I am with you my body was at ease.

Sadly I couldn’t remember the names of the people I’ve met because every time I would meet someone it corresponds to a glass of god-knows-what and ended up forgetting them in the end, but the odd thing is that I only remembered your name.

As my vision begins to blur and my body begins to betray me you were the last person that I’ve seen before everything went blank.

I don’t know why but it was odd because it was only you who I remember.

Give Up

28 Feb

Stop it

Move on already

It’s done

It’s over

We’ve lost already

Quote

Let it go

19 Feb

Let it go, let it pass because you know that you will laugh the last

This is the End

19 Feb

This is the end.

I’ve lost.

You confessed.

Not to me.

But to her.

Good luck.

I know that you’ll love each other.

Look after her.

She’s my best friend.

She has to look after you.

You are like my brother.

But.

I had always loved you more.

More than a brother.

But as a lover.

Don’t worry.

You’ll see me again.

In 3 months.

You’ll see me.

With a man.

Who will love me.

Just like how you loved me.

But the sad thing is that.

It’s not you.

The Silence Of Jealousy

7 Feb

The three of us sat by a small round table. It was you, me , and my best friend.

She had coffee, you had coffee while I got green tea crème.

You cracked a joke, we both laughed.

We all started to converse about our weekends as we make a big noise in the very silent café.

You handed my best friend a long white envelope, I suspect it was the palanca you promised to give her, she opened it and started to read silently.

It was a three-page long palanca typed-written in a long bond paper. I was way longer compared to the palancas you gave to me in the past.

As she read the palanca, you and I began to talk to each other. Your whole attention was focused on me and we never failed to make me smile with your stories. I wished we could have this moment together forever because you make me fall for you even more.

When you cracked another joke I was laughing so hard and I accidentally knocked over my  drink, causing it to spill some on my pants.

I excused myself to go to the bathroom to wash off, leaving you guys together.

After washing off the tea and drying it up I came back to my seat. When I sat down and looked at you guys exchanging shy glances at one another. I blinked many times and thought that my eyes might have been deceiving me.

I tried to start another conversation as I asked what happened when I was gone.

You grew quiet and she did as well.

So I just sat there as I felt alone and unwanted for the first time in my life. I felt like a broken third-wheel which you guys wanted to remove.

The silence was killing me because you didn’t want to talk to me but instead you just stared at her the whole.

I couldn’t take it.

So I took my bag and walked out without a single word.

Because the silence speak for itself.